Wednesday, August 20, 2008

(Guest Writer - Michelle Barrera, NJ) As I reflect after a mere 25 years of age, I am still trying to find my place. I am still trying to figure out who God wants me to be, where He'd like me to go, what He needs me to do with my life. With the help of life experience, I know who I have become. I am woman.

Christian. Human. Loving. Open.

Anyone would think that with all of this and an open heart I would have found my place or my calling. But here I am, on this train bound for New York City, reflecting on who I would like to become in His eyes.

I have found church after church seeking perfection. Seeking to accept what I cannot be. Seeking to completely change myself and not be who I am. I've tried to fit, to make myself something else and like an organ that's being rejected from its new body, I too, have been spit out.

My heart knows, however, that God does not do cookie-cutter. How could He? He's amazing in all the ways I can't understand or imagine. He is creative. He only paints originals; he only sculpts one-of-a-kinds. I have seen His wonders, experienced them for myself. I am convinced He covers much more ground than the cookie-cutter factory that wants to change what He has made.

We all play a unique role in the body of Christ. I have seen pieces of who and what I long to be. Pieces that represent love, peace and acceptance in a world filled with hate, judgment and people at war with each other. There are those few that shine and bring life to the heart of God. They spread life, love and joy to the rest of His body. I want to be from that place. I want to shine like the heart of God.

Yes, I know I have a long way to go just as we all do. My goal is to find the heart of God and attach myself to it. I want to be the heart of God. I want to love like the heart of God. I want to understand like the heart of God. I want to be filled with awe in knowing the heart of God.

That is what I want for my wandering soul. That’s the only thing I ask for. I beg to be where His heart is. I beg to a part of the Heart of the always amazing, always loving, ever-knowing God.

4 comments:

rekindletheflame said...

Very encouraging and a great reminder about the Great God that we serve.

Randy said...

that is incredible. i think i completely understand, though im not a woman, yet im 25 as well. im seeking the cross the greatest of my know how, easier said than done, yet, all truth in the same. following the ways of man are always easy, following the ways of God incarnate on a cross, priceless!

michelle said...

I'm glad this post is encouraging to both of you. It's a constant struggle for me and I'm constantly reminding myself that I believe in a great and inspiring God.

Jerseygirl said...

Girl, Awesome post! I am praying for you!Let me tell you what helped me when I was going through the exact same thing....Beth Moore! Read one of her studies...I recommend Daniel to start. Trust me it will do wonders to your longing soul! xoxo